Depression hurts

Norman Vincent Peale wrote, “The secret of life isn’t what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.”  I tend to talk alot about the power of positive thinking on this blog, mostly because that’s what I struggle with the most.  I constantly search out positive thinking inspiration and read as many powerful quotes on the subject as I can, yet almost daily the voices in my head try to let the memories of what has happened overcome me – and some days the sadness that anything like this could happen in my marriage and the anger that some woman thought she could come into our lives and wreck havoc and that my husband gave her the green flag and invited her in, well, it just brings back the hurt all over again.  They say that the side effects of going through an affair, emotional or otherwise, are anger, depression, and low self-esteem.  Check, check and check.  Got’em all.  But how do I get rid of them?  Can I take a pill to make me a stronger person that isn’t constantly dwelling on the past?  I hide it well, no one knows what I think and what I feel, just me and the sobbing person inside me know the truth.  And I guess that’s why I try to seek out as much positive information as I can.  Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t.  Sometimes I realize what an emotional basketcase this whole thing has turned me into and I hardly recognize the needy, scared little girl in the mirror.  Other times I become very determined that I will survive (insert Gloria Gaynor song here) and become a stronger, more confident version of myself.  That’s my vision board, my goal.  So, I’m going to pick myself up and be that person for some portion of my day today, until finally it becomes my reality.

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