Birthday surprises!

I really don’t know why I even for a second doubted whether or not my husband would remember or do anything special for me today, he’s proved and said over and over again how much I mean to him and how sorry he is –  but I guess that’s just the reality of who I have become 😦  I was very surprised to get the most gorgeous arrangement of flowers this morning with a beautiful note as well:)))  I can’t remember the last time he sent me flowers so it is very special to me and I feel very blessed and very foolish that for even one second I would doubt his feelings for me.  I do not like the pathetic, needy, unsure person I see in the mirror and I really would like for her to just go away – gray hairs and all.   I want the girl I used to know to come back, the one that was strong, creative, witty and fun.  The one that didn’t have bags under her eyes from all the crying she does and who doesn’t get a lump in her throat just thinking about things that should be left in the past where they belong.  She thought she could do anything and if anyone ever told her she couldn’t, she’d do it just to prove them wrong.  Where are you?  I so miss you!

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